


Divorce Mon!

by BenSoloHands



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Divorce, F/M, Han has issues, Lando is sneeky, Smut, This is pure crack, mention of drugs, mentions of porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:34:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28865619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenSoloHands/pseuds/BenSoloHands
Summary: This is kind of part 3 to Rabid love and Low hangers but Luke’s nudist colony isn’t in this one. Leia kicks Han out and files for divorce. Han comes to stay with Ben. Leia starts dating Lando and Han must get her back. LOL it’s crack ok
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Divorce Mon!

“Ben wake up! Someone is banging on the front door!” Rey whispered in a panicked voice. Ben sat up listening, the banging and yelling started again. “Fucking hell, stay here baby.” Ben grabbed his brass knuckles and headed for the front door. “Wake up damn it, it’s me!” The voice rang out. “Oh fuck!” Ben swore as he looked through the peep hole to see Han’s red, high blood pressure ridden face. Ben opened the door and Han stormed in with 4 giant suitcases. “Dad what the hell it's 2am!” Ben groaned and shut the door. Han made his way over to the guest room. “It's over son, your mother kicked me out so I’m staying with you and Rey.” Han grumbled as he threw all his shit on the guest bed. “Oh hell no dad you can’t stay here! I don’t have the room plus Rey and I have lots of sex and I’m sure you don’t want to listen to that!” Ben said, grasping at straws. “It's ok son, I don’t take up much room plus I brought my headphones to watch my porn with!” Han replied as he unpacked his bags. “Why did mom kick you out?” Ben asked, rubbing his hands over his face. “Well…...she caught me on a live chat with this really nice lady that I clicked on when she popped up on my porn hub screen. She said she wanted to help me with my erectile dysfunction for free for the first 2 minutes, but then 2 minutes turned into 2 hours and your mom walked in just as she was showing me her tits and I came all over the computer screen.” Han replied looking regretful. Ben grabbed the nearest trash can and started dry heaving. 

  
  


“Hey Han, what’s going on? Where’s Leia? And why is Ben trying to puke in my new trash can!?” Rey asked as she walked in the guest room. “Leia kicked me out, it's over, she’s tired of me racking up charges on her visa for porn hub apparently.” Han replied as he rolled his eyes and plopped down on the guest bed. Ben finally stopped heaving and stood up next to Rey. “Look dad, you can stay here tonight but tomorrow we will work something else out cause your ass will drive me crazy being here. Good fucking night!” Ben said, pulling Rey from the room and slamming the door. “What are we going to do? Han can barely tie his shoes without Leia!” Rey asked as they got back into bed. “I’m not worried about it Rey, they fight like this all the fucking time and I’m sure he will go crawling back to mom in the morning.” Ben replied as he kissed her forehead and went back to sleep.

  
  


BEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEP, “What the fuck! The house is on fire!” Ben said jumping out of bed with Rey hot on his heels. Smoke was coming from the kitchen and Rey grabbed the fire extinguisher. Ben and Rey rounded the corner to see Han at the stove, “Fuck me! Shit! God damn gas stoves!” Han yelled as he threw some baking soda on the giant grease fire he caused. 

“Damn it dad why are you trying to burn my fucking house down!” Ben screamed as he took the baking soda from Han and threw the pan in the sink. “I was trying to be nice and cook you guys some breakfast damn it, but your fucking stove tried to kill me!” Han huffed and sat down on the bar stool. “Well don’t touch anything in my fucking house again. Have you heard from mom yet?” Ben asked as he started a pot of coffee. “Hell no, and it's going to get worse when she gets the credit card bill and sees the charges for bigbrazilianboobs.com.” Han said, looking worried. 

  
  


“Maybe you should go to a damn sex addicts meeting. You sound like you have a serious problem Han.” Rey said patting Han on the shoulder. “Aw hell I’m ok Rey, just like I told Ben here I cut my videos down to 100 a day instead of 120.” He replied. Rey backed away from him and looked away. Just as they were sitting down at the table with their coffees the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.” Ben said walking over to the door. He opened the door to see a 30 something blonde woman standing there with a giant envelope. “Hello, I’m looking for Han Solo, my name is Kadel Fisher, I’m Leia Solo’s attorney.” Ben’s eyes widened, his mom had never taken it this far before. “Uh yeah sure come in, he’s in the kitchen.” Ben replied, moving to let her in. Kadel made her way into the kitchen and introduced herself to Han and Rey.

  
  


“She really is leaving me!?” Han yelled and grabbing his chest. “Yes Mr. Solo, she has had these divorce papers on reserve with me for the past 10 years in case you fucked up royally.” Kadel replied and smiled at the trio. “You don’t sound very professional for a fucking attorney!” Ben replied with a huff taking the papers from her. “Oh Leia told me not to take any shit from Han so it's cool.” Kadel said as she made her way to the door. “We will see you in court tomorrow at noon Mr. Solo!” She said walking out the door and closing it behind her. “What the fuck am I going to do! I can’t be without Leia! I don’t even know how to get the skid marks out of my underwear without her!” Han said with tears in his eyes. “Let me call mom and see if I can reason with her.” Ben made his way to the back porch and dialed Leia.

  
  


“I take it your shit ass father is shacking up with you?” Leia said as soon as she answered Ben’s call. “Yes mom and I’m going to be stuck with him unless you call off this divorce. You know how dad is, he does stupid shit, then he comes crawling back with flowers and candy. He can’t even operate a gas stove without trying to kill himself! He needs you!” Ben pleaded, he really didn’t want to be stuck with Han. “Hell no Ben, I am tired of being his babysitter. It's time for me to move on and try the dating scene again. Maybe I can find an actual grown ass man! Who knows, maybe I will remarry again one day, but Han needs to learn how to wipe his own ass! I’m sorry he went running to you first. Maybe Chewy will take him in, but I can’t handle it anymore. Tell that old bastard I will see him at noon tomorrow! Goodbye son!” Leia hung up before Ben had a chance to get another word out. “Fuck me”. Ben said with no hope in his voice.

  
  


“Ben, Han I will see you guys later, I just got a call to go trap a loose anaconda in Target.” Rey said as she kissed Ben and waved at Han. “Be careful baby.” Ben replied as he squeezed Rey’s ass. “Don’t worry baby, I have experience with anacondas.”, Rey winked as she grabbed Bens dick and pumped a couple of times. Ben moaned and Han turned green. Rey walked out the door leaving Ben hot and bothered. He made his way over to the couch and sat down next to Han, “Don’t look at me like that dad, I told you we have sex 24/7 in this house.” He said, grabbing his laptop to looking up lawyers for Han.“You got any pie Ben, I’m fucking starving after burning my damn bacon.” Han said strolling over to the fridge. “Dad will you shut the hell up about fucking pies! We have to find you a lawyer, now how much in savings do you have?” Ben asked. “Not a damn thing, I spent my money on parts for the falcon and stripper donations!” Ben’s jaw dropped, “Dad! How are you going to live! You can’t fucking stay with me and Rey! Also don’t even think about getting on my laptop!. Rey and I have our wedding to plan so I can’t help much, plus I don’t want you spending our wedding money on fake vaginas and Brazilian tits!” 

  
  


Han ignored him of course. Ben pulled up local lawyers and found a highly recommended one, Lando Calrissian. That name sounded familiar to Ben. “Hey dad, don’t you know a guy named Lando? He’s local and cheap.” Ben asked as Han sat back down next to him. “Yes and he’s a motherfucker! I won the falcon from him in a card game back in 79 and he used to hit on your mother non fucking stop! So hell no find someone else!” He replied. “Dad there is no one else in your price range and I’m not paying for some high dollar douchebag! I made an appointment online for 1:00 today so get your shit together!” Ben closed his laptop and was sure to change his password, then made his way to the shower.

  
  


“Well well well! Han old buddy how the hell are you!” Lando said opening his arms to pull Han in for an embrace. “I was better before I had to look at your smug fucking face!” Han sneered. “And you must be little Benny boy! I haven’t seen you since you were about a year old!” Lando said, shaking Ben’s hand. “Hello Lando, as I said in my email, my mom and dad are getting divorced and he’s in need of a lawyer asap, like noon tomorrow.” Ben said as he and Han took a seat. “Really now? Did Leia finally find your stash of Brazilian squirter porn in the glove box of the falcon?” Lando laughed as he poured himself a drink. “Something like that you fucking smart ass! You got any Corilian whiskey??” Han asked, looking around Lando’s stash of liquor. Lando poured Han a drink and got down to business. After a couple of hours, they had settled all the details and agreed to meet tomorrow at 12:00. “Don’t worry Han, I will get you the best deal possible!” Lando winked and waved as they left his office. “That old cunt is up to something.” Han thought to himself.

  
  


Rey came home around 6:00 that evening with a brand new pair of snakeskin boots. “Hey baby I’m home! I brought McDonalds and apple pie!” Rey called as she sat the food down on the counter. She then heard yelling and cussing coming from the backyard. She made her way outback and saw Han throwing a baseball while forcing Ben to hold a bat. “Come on Ben, I was never around when you were a kid! Let’s try to fucking bond for once! Stop being a little bastard!” Han yelled as he threw a fastball right at Ben’s head. Ben ducked just in time, “Damn it dad I told you I hate baseball and your just doing this to get on my good side to have a fucking free place to stay!” Ben threw the bat down and ran over to Rey kissing her like he hadn’t seen her in years. “Bullshit! You seemed to like that little league team I signed you up for when you were 10!” Han yelled as he sat down on the patio chair. “Dad you were shitfaced on whiskey for every one of those games! You got kicked out half the time for offering shots to minors and hitting on all the moms! I was in the dugout studying cause I didn’t give a shit!” Ben replied as he and Rey walked back into the house. “Fucking pussy.” Han mumbled. 

  
  


The next morning Ben and Rey took the day off to accompany Han to his divorce hearing. “Damn it dad you have to at least make an effort! You can’t go into your divorce wearing a Bob Seger t-shirt and jeans! Here you can borrow one of my button up shirts at least!” Ben said as he threw a shirt at Han’s face. “You know this will be big ass hell on me! You wear a fucking 56XL to cover that those giant pecks of yours! How much do you spend on your fucking gym membership?” Han bitched as he put Ben’s shirt on. “I’m ready guys!” Rey said cheerfully as she grabbed her car keys. Ben adjusted his tie as Rey twirled in circles to show off her dress to Ben. “Your fucking hot, I may have to throw you over the fucking witness stand and have my way with you.” Ben whispered in Rey’s ear as he wrapped his arms around her. “For fucks sake this is my divorce day! Can’t a guy get a little sympathy instead of you two talking about trying to cum all over everybody in the fucking courtroom!” Han growled and he slid his shoes on. “I think he’s right Ben, he’s more pissy that usual, I think this is really affecting him.”Rey replied as she patted Ben’s hair and made her way outside to the car. “Come on dad lets do this.” Ben shoved Han to his feet and met Rey at the car. 

  
  


They met Lando on the steps of the courthouse smiling ear to ear. “Han! Great to see you! Let’s get this show on the road!” Lando waved. “Lando!?”came a voice from behind them, it was Leia and Kaydel both dressed to the nine’s, ready to take Han for all he had. Lando went slack jawed and suddenly an evil grin appeared on his face. “Well well well if it isn’t Leia Organa! My my it's been a long time! So good to see that gorgeous face of yours hasn’t aged a day!” Lando sauntered up to Leia and pulled her in for a hug letting his hands roam a little too low. Han growled and turned beet fucking red. “You look great Lando! We shouldn’t have gone so long without seeing each other!” Leia winked at Lando then headed into the courthouse. “Did you see that? He totally has the hots for your mom!” Rey whispered to Ben as they entered the building. “Hell yes, now I’m thinking hiring this fucker was a big ass mistake.” Ben replied

  
  


“Ladies and gentlemen, the honorable judge Poe Dameron presiding”, the county clerk announced. “You may be seated.” Judge Dameron said as he sat down. “We are here in the case of Solo vs Solo to finalize and settle the matter of who gets what in the divorce. Miss. Fisher you may begin.” “Your honor, my client would like half the value of the house, and the 2021 Nissan Altima as well as half the cash assets in the bank accounts. “Sounds reasonable, Mr. Calrissian, what does your client want?” Poe asked motioning to Lando. Lando looked over at Han and winked. “I got a bad feeling about this.” Han thought. “He doesn’t want a damn thing your honor! He wants Leia to have it all! Including the 1976 ford Falcon. The only thing he wants is for Leia to pay my fee!” Lando said, clapping his hands together. “WHAT THE FUCK! I NEVER SAID THAT!” Han whispered loudly at Lando. “Sure you did! I got it right here on the document you signed!” Lando handed the paper to Han while Ben looked over his shoulder. “Damn it dad didn’t you read this shit before you signed it!” Ben huffed. “Hell no! I hate reading shit like this! I thought you read it!” Han grumbled and collapsed in his chair. “Damn it dad I’m not the one getting divorced! Now mom can take every fucking thing you have!” Ben sighed as he leaned back in the chair and looked over at Rey as she shrugged at him. “We accept!” Kadel said as she motioned for Leia to sign some documents and passed it to the judge. “Very well, I hereby grant your divorce! Mr. Solo you are ordered to turn the falcon over to Miss. Organa by sundown! Court is adjourned!” 

  
  


Han stumbled out of the courthouse leaning on Rey and Ben as if he was going to die. “I’m going to kill that motherfucker!” Ben growled as he looked over to see Lando flirting with his mom next to her car. “I’m going to get a little closer and see if I can hear anything.” Rey said sneaking over to a nearby magazine stand and pretended to read Newsweek. “So Leia what do you say, your a free woman now, how about you go out with me this evening and I can show you what it's like to be with a real man.” Lando said caressing Leia’s arm and raising his eyebrows. “I don’t know Lando, isn’t it rather soon for me to date the day of my divorce?” Leia replied, chewing her lip. “Naw! Nobody will give a shit when they find out it was fucking Han Solo that you just divorced! He’s a cunt and everybody knows it!” Lando said, handing Leia his business card. “You know what, yes Lando, lets see where this goes!” Leia took his card and agreed to meet him at Maz’s at 7:00. Rey looked on in horror as Leia drove away. Lando looked over and noticed Rey, “So Rey, you planning on marrying a Solo? A beautiful girl like you could do much better than that! I have a son, his name is Finn and he would be a great match for you” he said as he started to hand her his card. “Fuck off Lando. I Love Ben and he’s going to kick your fucking ass as soon as he gets a chance!” Rey stormed off to inform Ben and Han of what she just heard.

  
  


“Tonight! Fucking tonight! Are you serious! Maybe she never really loved me!” Han wailed as they drove back to Ben’s house. “Dad calm down we will figure this bullshit out.” Ben looked over at Rey and pleading for help. “I know what we have to do, you have to win her back Han and we will help you!” Rey exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “So, let's come up with a plan.” Rey said looking at Han waiting for input. “I got a plan, beat Lando’s motherfucking ass! I can call Chewy and he can meet me there with his old Winchester rifle. We can take his bitch ass out!” Han said, looking thrilled. “Besides killing people Han.” Rey rolled her eyes. “I say we follow them to Maz’s and see what’s what. That way we can get a feel for how this is going to go.” Ben replied as they pulled into the garage. 

Ben called his assistant Hux to come get the Falcon and have it delivered. Han was in too much of a state to do it himself. Han waved at the falcon as Hux pulled out of the driveway, backfiring the whole way down the street, “She’s so beautiful! How can Lando do this to me! The falcon was my only love!” Han cried as Ben looked at him in disbelief, “Fucking hell dad don’t let mom hear you say that or you will never win her back. Hell I knew you loved that thing more than me but your own wife! No wonder she left your ass!” Han looked over at Ben and he saw a glimmer of a tear, “Fuck son I didn’t mean it, stop being such a fucking pussy! Now move your ass! I have to get my wife back!” Han stormed into his room to change. “Why are we helping him again?” Rey asked as she wrapped her arm around Ben. “To get him out of our fucking house. I really don’t want to have to worry about my dad listening to us roll play on Wednesday nights.” Ben groaned. 

  
  


The trio pulled up outside of Maz’s a half hour before Lando and Leia were supposed to show up. “I know Maz, I called her earlier and explained the plan.” Han said as they put on their disguises. Ben wore a blonde wig and glasses while Rey wore her nun costume from Halloween. Han didn’t give a shit he just strolled in ahead of them. “HAN SOLO!” Came a voice from the bar. “Hey Maz!” Han waved. “Where the fuck is my boyfriend!? If i had known he wasn’t coming I wouldn’t have agreed to this!” She replied. “I will get you a fucking 2 night weekend stay at the hilton with Chewy once this is over! Now show me to the kitchen.” Han said as she rolled her eyes and led him to the back. Ben and Rey took a seat at a table and ordered wine. “I hope this shit works.” Ben said.

  
  


About 20 minutes later Ben and Rey saw Leia and Lando stroll in the front door. Lando was wearing a fucking cape like he was god damn Batman. The hostess brought them to a table close enough so Ben and Rey could hear their conversation. 

  
  


Lando slid into the booth next to Leia and put his arm around her. “I knew he would be one of those fucking doushbags that refused to sit on the opposite side of the booth! I mean shit give her some fucking space!” Ben whispered angrily at Rey. Rey shushed him so they could hear the conversation. “I’m so glad you came out with me tonight Leia. You have no idea how happy I was when I got the email saying Han needed a divorce lawyer.” Lando breathed in Leia’s ear. “Yeah I’m glad I decided to get out of the house too. Could you back up a little Lando, you have on way too much old spice.” Leia said, pushing back on Lando’s chest. Just then Ben heard a loud bang and an oddly dressed waiter emerged from the kitchen. “Holy fuck what is he doing!” Ben whispered and motioned for Rey to look. It was Han, with a Rastafarian wig, a black stick on beard and mustache, glasses and platform shoes. 

  
  


“I thought he was going to stay in the fucking kitchen!” Rey panicked grabbing Ben’s hand. “Fuck if I know but he’s going to blow this whole fucking thing.” He said as he put his face in his hands. Han strolled up to Lando and Leia’s table. “Welcome to Maz’s mon! My name is Jeff, Can I get you anything to drink mon?” Han said in his best Jamacain accent. “We’re fucked.” Rey moaned. “Hi Jeff! How long have you been working here? I haven’t seen you here before.” Lando asked curiously. “Um...about 6 months mon, now what the hell do you want to drink?” Han asked, getting pissed. “Ok ok hold your horses buddy, what’s good on draft?” Lando asked. “We got every damn thing you can think of, hurry it up would ya. I've got more tables mon!” Lando looked around, “Ok I will take a blue moon and this little lady will have a water.” Lando said looking at Leia just as he saw rage boiling in her eyes. “Hell no I won't have just a water Lando! Bring me a Corilian whiskey and make it a triple!” Leia demanded sliding further away from Lando. “Ah that's my girl.” Han mumbled. “What was that?” Lando asked. “Uh nothing mon! Be right back with that mon!” Han made a mad dash for the bar. 

  
  


Han told Maz what they wanted then pulled out a gallon of milk of magnesia and dumped it in Lando’s beer. He sauntered back over to the table and set their drinks down. “Ummm this blue moon tastes different. Is this a new flavor?” Lando asked, taking another sip. “Yeah mon it's the house special. We call it the brown flush! Now can I take your order mon?” Han asked grinning under his fake beard. “I will have the swordfish with mild seasoning, I can’t handle the spicy stuff, and my lady here will have the free breadsticks and a plain salad with no dressing.” Lando said smiling at Leia. “The fuck I will! I want the $40 ribeye and a loaded baked potato and don’t you dare order for me again Lando!” She said pointing a finger in his face. “Coming right up mon!” Han laughed as he walked away. 

  
  


Ben grabbed his arm as he walked by, “Um yes..Jeff is it? We are ready to order as well!” Ben said, yanking Han down into the booth with him. “What the fuck dad!” Ben whispered. “Look mon its ok! She doesn’t know it's me! We are cool! Now let go of me so I can go shit in Lando’s food!” Han said as he jumped up and ran to the back. “Damn I wish he had taken our order I’m starving!” Rey sighed. “Baby I swear that's all you think about is food. I’m having a crisis here!” Ben whined and took a swig of his wine. “Oh fuck you Ben! Now find me some food or else this pussy will be closed for maintenance for the next week!” Ben had never jump up so fast in his life to go find a real fucking waiter. 

  
  


Han grabbed the ghost peppers from the shelf and started grading them over Lando’s fucking swordfish. “Let’s see how horny you are for my wife now you fucking cockface!” Han whispered as he made his way back to the table. “Here you go mon! Enjoy!” Han slammed their plates down and ran behind the bar to watch. Lando took a bite of his swordfish, chewed two times then grabbed his water. “You ok Lando?” Leia asked. “HOT AS FUCK!” Lando yelled. “Oh why thank you Lando, you're very handsome.“ Leia replied, continuing to eat her steak. Lando tried to control his breathing but then his gut started to rumble. “Um...Leia I’m not feeling too good, excuse me!” Lando screamed as he ran to the toilet. To his dismay both bathrooms had out of order plastered all over it. “Oh shit, help me lord!” Lando screamed and ran out to the back alley and shit all over the dumpster. 

  
  


“Dad now’s your chance! Lando is outback shitting!” Ben whispered as he walked past the bar. Han knew what he had to do. He went over to Leia’s table and sat down across from her. “I see that asshole left you alone mon.” Han said while Leia stared at him. “Yeah he said he wasn’t feeling well. I just got divorced today so I really just came out with him so I won't be sitting home alone.” Leia replied. Han yanked his wig and beard off. “Han! What the fuck are you doing here!” She yelled. “Getting my fucking wife back thats what! Leia, how could you do this? You didn’t even give me a chance to redeem myself!? You even took the fucking falcon!” Leia looked down at her hands, “I had no choice! Your porn hub obsession ruined our marriage!” Leia cried. Han couldn't take it anymore, “Leia listen, I will quit it all, the porn, the gambling, the weed, the cocaine, the strippers, the embezzling, the dressing up in your clothes when I’m drunk as shit. I will stop it all for you! I love you more than the falcon and that's saying something!” Han cried as he grabbed Leia’s hand. Leia gave him a long stare and she finally spoke. “That’s all you had to say Han.” She looked over and Han followed her gaze seeing Kadel and Juge Poe sitting at the far end of the restaurant. Leia gave them a thumbs up. Ben and Rey couldn't stay silent anymore and they came over to the table.

  
  


They ripped off their outfits and Ben turned to Leia, “Mom what the hell is going on??” He asked. “Kadel isn’t really a lawyer, she works at Burger King and Poe is just a guy I met down at the bus station. I had to teach this old bastard a lesson. We are not really divorced, it was all a setup.” Ben was waiting for Han to explode but to his surprise he grabbed Leia’s face and kissed her. “I love you.” Han said, “I Know.” Leia replied.

  
  


1 month later

“I’m so glad we decided to elope!” Ben said carrying Rey over the threshold into their hotel room. Luke had begged them to get married at his nudist colony but Ben had had enough of the constant emails, phone calls, and letters in the mail. So they decided to just run away to Hawaii. “Me too.” Rey said as she kissed Ben and pushed him onto the bed. “Yeah my family is just too damn much, I didn’t want any of them taking over our wedding.” He replied. Ben grabbed Rey’s waist and pulled her dress over her head. Rey clawed at his clothes until they were nothing but shreds on the floor. “Daddy I need you so bad, I want that killer cock in my cunt asap!” Rey moaned as he started to pump him at a rapid pace. “Say no more hotness!” He yelled as he flipped her over and entered her in one fell swoop. “Oh my god daddy your so fucking big! Do you have to have a permit to carry that thing around!?” She groaned as she pushed back to meet his thrust. “Hell yes I do! Anything over 15 pounds requires a fucking permit!” He said slamming into her. “Cum on my tits Ben! I want to be painted with you! I want you to write your fucking name on my tits with that humongous hose!” Rey screamed as she came on his dick. “Oh fuck yes baby!” He yelled as he pulled out and aimed for her perky tits. He was able to write a B and half and E before he collapsed on top of her. 

  
  


Later that night, they were sitting on the balcony listening to the waves when Ben’s phone rang. “Fuck its dad, I hope she didn’t kick him out again. Hey dad what’s going on?” “Hey son, how's the honeymoon? Is she pregnant yet?” Han giggled. “Yeah dad, all women have to do is look at my dick and its instant pregnancy!” Ben rolled his eyes. “Anyway I was just calling to let you know Lando is out of the hospital. I guess a month of shitting constantly will nearly kill you. I guess I overdid it with the milk of magnesia.” Han laughed. “Your fucking lucky he didn’t sue the shit out of you. It's a good thing they never found any evidence.” Ben replied, smiling at Rey. “Ah who cares, fuck Lando!” Han said as they all shared a laugh. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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